[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default”][et_pb_column _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” type=”4_4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.9.2″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Before I begin this blog, I want to be clear that this is not a call for help. I\u2019m not looking for any suggestions about what to do. I\u2019m fine now. Not the kind of \u201cfine\u201d that you say out of habit. I\u2019m in balance again, I\u2019ve recovered from my latest bout, but I\u2019d like to write about a meltdown I had a few days ago in case you\u2019ve ever had one, too. They look different in each of us, but I believe we all have them and if someone says they haven’t, pardon my judgment but they\u2019re probably not telling the truth or being honest with themselves. Maybe they\u2019re repressing their feelings and hurting their hearts.<\/p>\n
I woke up in a dark place a few days ago. It happens sometimes and I did what I usually do \u2013 get up, have coffee, look at the newspaper, do the Crossword Puzzle and go to my desk. That\u2019s all pretty normal, my mother always called it \u201cher routine,\u201d but here\u2019s where it went awry. On that particular morning, I stared at my computer screen, my world felt ominous, my hands wouldn’t move, I couldn’t figure out why I was sitting there and the tears started.<\/p>\n
Alice in Wonderland cried so hard and long, she was afraid of drowning in a pool of her own tears. I felt like Alice, I couldn’t understand why I was sobbing and I didn’t know how to stop. It thought if I blamed the meltdown on something specific, I could fix it, but there were too many things to choose from: politics, Covid-19, grief, boredom, aging, being alone for long stretches and conflicting chemicals that my brain was producing on over drive. After a while I realized the it wasn\u2019t about anything specific so I dumped all those reasons and let the sadness free float. The best thing I could have done.<\/p>\n
When sadness hits hard, the work is not about figuring it out. It\u2019s about acceptance, releasing shame and embracing the truth that we are all human, there\u2019s a reason we have tear ducts and crying is a healing experience. I lead meditations at the start of each of my writing classes and I suggest that my students try not to hold onto their feelings and tears or push them away. I suggest they just \u201clet it be,\u201d in the sage words of Lennon-McCartney.<\/p>\n
Science tells us that \u201cfeel good\u201d endorphins, oxytocin and endogenous opioids, are released in our tears and bring us relief. I looked up \u201ccrying\u201d on Google and I was stunned to learn about crying clubs in Japan called \u201crui-katsu\u201d (tear-seeking), where people come together to indulge in good old-fashioned sob fests. That\u2019s how they heal. Beating yourself up and shaming yourself is not a healing path. When you allow your mind to free float, when you let yourself feel whatever is there, your thoughts lose their power and influence over you. When your mind stops making up stories about your sadness but just allows it to be there, when you touch your wounds with kindness instead of meanness, you may still have pain, but you can eliminate suffering. There\u2019s a huge difference.<\/p>\n
We all know the sentiment:
The way to heal something is not to chase it away or hide from it.
The only way out is in.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Before I begin this blog, I want to be clear that this is not a call for help. I\u2019m not looking for any suggestions about what to do. I\u2019m fine now. Not the kind of \u201cfine\u201d that you say out of habit. I\u2019m in balance again, I\u2019ve recovered from my latest bout, but I\u2019d like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1882,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1879","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1879"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1879\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1882"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1879"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1879"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1879"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}