Success is an elusive concept that means different
things to different people. Some measure it by material gains. Others think \u00a0it\u2019s about being recognized and sought after. Some people feel successful when\u00a0they\u2019re learning new things and engaging in life as it is. Others think it\u2019s\u00a0about attaining elevated social positions. For some, it\u2019s about winning the\u00a0race. For others, it\u2019s about joining the race and making it to the finish line.<\/p>\n
I used to measure success in terms of productivity\u00a0and accomplishment. How much could I get done in a day? How much attention was\u00a0I getting from the people around me? How could I write better, more and faster?\u00a0But my definition has changed over the years. Today, getting to the computer is a form of winning for me. So is\u00a0writing for three or four hours in a row. Or finding my authentic voice that\u00a0makes my story come alive.<\/p>\n
When I meet a deadline, I feel successful. When I\u00a0write every day whether or not I\u2019m inspired, I feel successful. When I push my
limits to create something from nothing, a la the Grimm Brother\u2019s fairy tale\u00a0character, Rumplestiltskin, who spun straw into gold, I feel successful. I even\u00a0feel accomplished when I carve out downtime to relax, regenerate and hang out\u00a0with friends.<\/p>\n
I feel pretty good right now because I\u2019m writing\u00a0this prompt. It took three tries: write, delete, write, delete, write, delete,\u00a0before I zeroed in on this topic. When I write a prompt, I think about my\u00a0students listening to me read it. If I imagine them engaged and interested, I
feel like I chose the right topic, but it isn\u2019t always that cut and dried. I
led a writing workshop recently that I consider 50% successful. I had twenty participants\u00a0and during the first half when I was talking about writing, I saw that people\u00a0were distracted and had a far away look in their eyes. But in the second half,\u00a0when I encouraged them to talk with me and ask questions, they had their full\u00a0attention on the discussion. I learned from that. I keep in\u00a0mind that just like light cannot exist without darkness, success cannot exist\u00a0without failure. The mere fact that I\u00a0put the workshop together, announced it and showed up felt like an act of\u00a0courage. The next time, I\u2019ll implement some changes I hope I\u2019ll feel completely\u00a0satisfied.<\/p>\n
In this life, our idea about what makes us feel\u00a0accomplished and happy keeps changing. It doesn’t have to be about winning a\u00a0race or writing a bestseller. It can be about the little things \u2013 going grocery
shopping for someone who is housebound, finding compassion when you feel\u00a0resentful, and writing for a prescribed period of time. Whatever you do, if you\u00a0don’t feel good about it, if you don\u2019t see it as a kind of grace, no matter how\u00a0much money you make or how famous you become, you\u2019ll always be dissatisfied and\u00a0striving for more.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve written memoirs for some legendary\u00a0celebrities and at first, I was in awe, envious of these people and their sparkly\u00a0lives. But pretty soon, I came to understand that they weren\u2019t necessarily\u00a0fulfilled. I saw firsthand, that privileges like bottomless bank accounts,\u00a0Chanel, Versace and Tiffany, Rolls Royces and private planes made for an
exciting life but it didn\u2019t ensure a good one. Often enough, those attainments were\u00a0counter-productive to a person\u2019s peace of mind because they had to keep\u00a0\u201cstoking the star making machinery,\u201d in the words of chanteuse, Joni Mitchell. The\u00a0more they acquired, the faster the treadmill raced, and the harder it became to\u00a0keep up.<\/p>\n
A few years back, I was collaborating on a\u00a0self-help book at the Malibu\u00a0 home of a motivational speaker. This wealthy woman in her mid-thirties could barely sit still for the two hours we worked together each week. In fact, she gave new meaning to the old expression, \u201cants in her pants.\u201d Late one afternoon when the sun was setting in its pastel glory over the Pacific Ocean, she paced back and forth and asked me breathlessly, \u201cWhat do you see in your future? What are your hopes and dreams? What do you really want?\u201d<\/p>\n
I watched the gulls soar and swoop in front of the\u00a0plate glass windows of this woman\u2019s sumptuous beach estate. I had traveled across\u00a0the globe with the ballet in my youth, my literary career was on a good track,\u00a0I liked what I was doing for a living, I had a home that I loved, I had great\u00a0friends, a precious cat, and I preferred foods that were fresh and organic.<\/p>\n
\u201cPeace,\u201d I said. \u201cI want peace.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that all?\u201d she asked me, clearly disappointed\u00a0by my answer. \u201cDon’t you want to be successful?\u201d<\/p>\n
I smiled. I knew where she was coming from. I\u2019d\u00a0been there too, not so long ago. I want to make it clear here that I\u2019m not\u00a0knocking fame or wealth. It\u2019s good to follow your dreams, make lots of\u00a0money and work toward something that you want. It’s good to be lauded for your
accomplishments, but enjoying the steps along the way is the\u00a0most important part. So is keeping a positive attitude when you fail. As\u00a0you get closer to what you want, when you glimpse the rewards that seem to be\u00a0right around the corner, you have to be ready for a challenging dance with\u00a0failure, the opposite of the success for which you\u2019re striving.<\/p>\n
I\u00a0love this quote from Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson:<\/p>\n
To laugh often and much;<\/p>\n
To win the respect of
intelligent people and the affection of children;<\/p>\n
To earn the appreciation of
honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;<\/p>\n
To appreciate beauty, to
find the best in others;<\/p>\n
To leave the world a bit
better, by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;<\/p>\n
To know that one person has
breathed easier because you have lived.<\/p>\n
This is success.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Success is an elusive concept that means differentthings to different people. Some measure it by material gains. Others think \u00a0it\u2019s about being recognized and sought after. Some people feel successful when\u00a0they\u2019re learning new things and engaging in life as it is. Others think it\u2019s\u00a0about attaining elevated social positions. For some, it\u2019s about winning the\u00a0race. For […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":2242,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2243"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2243\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2244,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2243\/revisions\/2244"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2242"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}