Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 – –\u00a0 Albert Einstein<\/p>\n
When I sat down at the computer this morning, I was stunned
to see that I was about to write my 315th blog. How could I have written so much so consistently? How on earth could I have found things to say that I thought were worthy of sharing?<\/p>\n
Being creative and innovative without copying someone else
requires self-acceptance and the belief that what you have to say has value. That\u00a0you\u2019re worth listening to. I was out to dinner a few evenings ago when a woman\u00a0I had just met asked me, \u201cDo you just go to the computer and write your blog in\u00a0one shot? Do you know what you’re going to write about before you sit down to\u00a0do it? Is it hard to feel that confident?\u201d<\/p>\n
I told her that I write my blogs over a few days. Sometimes\u00a0I know what I want to say when I begin but more often than not, I have a bunch\u00a0of false starts before I choose a topic and get into the swing. I have to find\u00a0something that\u2019s worth writing about. And it’s always hard to do, but I\u2019m so\u00a0used to it, it feels like I\u2019m missing something when I don’t do it.<\/p>\n
It takes courage to feel worthy of telling the truth but I\u00a0always feel better when I unburden my heart, when I say the things that scare
me and make me feel inadequate. Or when I express pride in my accomplishments. It\u2019s\u00a0hard to do that, too, When I was six years old, I remember looking in the\u00a0mirror and saying out loud, \u201cI\u2019m pretty.\u201d My mother heard me and said sternly,\u00a0\u201cDon’t be vain.\u201d She was giving me the message that it wasn\u2019t okay to make positive comments about myself and it’s been a challenge ever since.<\/p>\n
When I decided to write my memoir, I thought very seriously\u00a0about how I was going to approach it. I could report the positive highlights of\u00a0my life and tell some familiar stories. I had a lot of them. Or I could talk\u00a0about the things that I felt proud of and the things I felt ashamed of, things\u00a0that I celebrated, things I blamed myself for and wished I could take back and\u00a0things I missed because I wasn’t paying attention. So I made a commitment to\u00a0dig deep, to find the truth and put it on the page, no matter what it was,\u00a0without shame or second thoughts. I vowed to find the courage to find worth in\u00a0what I think and who I am, and I got in touch with my yearning to share my
experiences honestly and shamelessly with other people.<\/p>\n
The above considerations come up each time I sit down to\u00a0write. My students know how scary it is to open their hearts and reveal the
truth without self-judgment. It\u2019s a challenge to believe that they’re worth it.\u00a0One of my students gets sweaty hands before she reads. Another one is so sure his\u00a0pieces are terrible, he stammers when he begins. One student apologizes for\u00a0making it too short and another one apologizes for it being too long. We just\u00a0can\u2019t give ourselves a break and trust that if our writing is meaningful to us,\u00a0it will be valuable to other people. I have a teacher in my life who reminds me
that we are all fellow travelers so if we feel something, other people are feeling it, too.<\/p>\n
When my memoir came out, I was invited to a women\u2019s book club. Someone asked me, \u201cHow could you tell the truth about that violent
relationship you had? Doesn’t it make you feel ashamed and naked?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, it does,\u201d I said. \u201cBut it also makes me feel connected\u00a0to other women. Good writers say the things that other people are afraid to say\u00a0out loud.\u201d I gazed at the women around me and said, \u201cWhatever you say is worth\u00a0saying because you are not alone in your thoughts and opinions.\u201d<\/p>\n
When I was a ghostwriter, different clients had different\u00a0relationships with their value and worth. The all too familiar \u201cimposter\u00a0syndrome\u201d showed up and made them believe that they were pulling one over on\u00a0everyone, that they were not worth the attention they were getting. I had a\u00a0client who was so afraid to tell the truth, when I asked her how she felt about\u00a0her parent\u2019s divorce, she got an instant migraine and I had to leave.<\/p>\n
But one job really stands out. I was writing a memoir for a\u00a0famous diva who insisted on putting the word \u201csecret\u201d in her title. I was
concerned because she was such a private person, but she surprised me during\u00a0our interviews by telling me some tidbits that no one knew about her. I was\u00a0optimistic about how the book would sell, it was raw and truthful, but the\u00a0night before the deadline, she removed the juicy parts because she was afraid\u00a0to expose herself. When it was published, people bought it because of her name
and the title and it quickly landed on the bestseller lists. They couldn\u2019t wait\u00a0to read about her secrets. But it fell off the list just as quickly because she\u00a0didn’t tell any secrets and her readers were disappointed. If she hadn\u2019t\u00a0promised to to reveal some private things, her readers wouldn’t have felt\u00a0cheated. But she didn’t give them what she promised and her fans didn’t refer\u00a0the book to their friends.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve learned over time that however it looks from the\u00a0outside, none of us are all that special. And we\u2019re all special \u2013 worthy human\u00a0beings with worthy human feelings that we share, that help us find connection\u00a0with our fellow travelers. I was able to successfully work with celebrities\u00a0because I was aware that when a performer is lauded and celebrated for his or\u00a0her talent, they still go home to families and insecurities. They still have to\u00a0work on their marriages and raise their children to be good people. They still\u00a0have to nurture their friendships and perhaps most important of all, they have\u00a0to be able to withstand criticism and believe that they are worthy of the life
they want to live.<\/p>\n
Motivational\u00a0speaker, Brene Brown says: \u201cYou\u2019re imperfect, and you\u2019re wired for struggle,\u00a0but you are worthy of love and belonging.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 – –\u00a0 Albert Einstein When I sat down at the computer this morning, I was stunnedto see that I was about to write my 315th blog. How could I have written so much so consistently? How on earth could I have found […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2432,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2433","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2433"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2433\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2434,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2433\/revisions\/2434"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2432"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2433"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2433"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2433"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}