The measure of\u00a0intelligence is the ability to change.<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0– – – Albert Einstein<\/p>\n
I was sixteen when I was accepted\u00a0into a professional ballet company. I\u2019d started training when I was eight and I\u2019d\u00a0grown up in a ballet world, in the studio and on stage. That was all I knew. When
I was nineteen, an unexpected acting opportunity came my way and shook up my\u00a0world. I pondered what to do, it was a major decision, and I left the ballet.\u00a0My life changed suddenly and dramatically and I started a new one that couldn\u2019t\u00a0have been more different from what I was accustomed to. Nearly everything I did\u00a0required a decision based on being in a place that I knew nothing about. I had to
change my old point of view and take up another one.<\/p>\n
Change affects us physically, mentally,\u00a0emotionally and spiritually. When I retired from the ballet, I experienced all\u00a0of these states at that time. In the physical aspect, I was used to training\u00a0and moving my body all day long and that ended. In the mental aspect, I had a
plethora of ballets memorized in my head that took up a great deal of space,\u00a0but they were no longer useful to me. In the emotional aspect, when I wasn\u2019t dancing,\u00a0I felt unsure and scared. And in the spiritual aspect, it had felt like I was\u00a0dancing on the moon and now my feet were planted on the ground.<\/p>\n
When I left the ballet bubble, I was\u00a0constantly faced with change and I didn\u2019t like it. Most people don\u2019t. Sometimes\u00a0we hate it because it scares us so much. We don\u2019t like being out of control. We\u00a0don\u2019t like having to make decisions with no idea about the outcome. We\u2019d prefer\u00a0staying right where we are and letting life swirl around us, but that isn\u2019t an\u00a0option. It changes with or without our permission. We ask ourselves, \u201cWhat if I\u00a0make the wrong decision and it ends up in disaster? What if I say the wrong thing\u00a0and I end up regretting it?\u201d<\/p>\n
I was a guest speaker recently at a\u00a0friend\u2019s Zoom gathering about writing through change. As I answered questions\u00a0from the participants, it occurred to me that while change signifies the end of
something, it also signifies the beginning of something. If we can quiet our\u00a0minds and focus on the obstacle in front of us, if we can be gentle with\u00a0ourselves, it\u2019s easier to think and to act. It\u2019s easier to see our choices and\u00a0make decisions. Maybe we just have to go with our original idea and make it\u00a0work as we move along. Or maybe we have to go back, start all over again and\u00a0make a different choice.<\/p>\n
Change is inevitable so we might as\u00a0well make a choice, which ups the odds of doing something that works and makes\u00a0us feel good. William James, American philosopher and psychologist said, \u201cNo
decision is, in itself, a decision.\u201d It reminds me of a lyric by Bob Dylan. \u201cHe\u00a0not busy being born is busy dying.\u201d<\/p>\n
When change happens gradually, we\u00a0can gentle ourselves to make the adjustment slowly. We can see what\u2019s going on\u00a0and we can change our minds to accommodate it. But if things shift in a split
second like they often do, the intelligent thing to do is buckle up, make sure\u00a0we\u2019re safe, ride the wave and see where we end up. We have to stop thinking\u00a0we\u2019re going to make a mistake. There are no mistakes. There are simply other\u00a0ways of doing things.<\/p>\n
Often we see ourselves trying to\u00a0pass a test that life puts in front of us. We think we have to figure it all\u00a0out. But there is no test. Nothing gets solved because just when we think we\u00a0figured it out, change shows up. It doesn\u2019t work to mistreat and push ourselves\u00a0around. It\u2019s hard to make choices when we\u2019re beating ourselves up. It doesn\u2019t
work to shame ourselves if things doesn\u2019t go the way we want. They probably\u00a0won\u2019t.<\/p>\n
When we aren\u2019t sure what the best\u00a0choice is, instead of hiding or running away, we can choose to flow with the change,\u00a0to allow room for it and all the emotions that come with it. No pushing or\u00a0shoving. If someone else wants to give you advice, they\u2019re usually talking
about themselves so you can listen but be careful to trust yourself= and use\u00a0your own intuition.<\/p>\n
If we can find some compassion for\u00a0ourselves, we can be courageous, keep putting one foot in front of the other\u00a0and be curious about where it will end up. Where is this going? How do I manage\u00a0my fear along the way and keep moving toward whatever is coming next? Will this\u00a0help me or hurt me How do I find the compassion to take good care of myself in\u00a0such shaky circumstances?<\/p>\n
There is a famous saying that the\u00a0only thing constant in life is change. So we might as well accept it. If we try\u00a0to get ahead of it, it\u2019ll turn around and ambush us. If we try to keep our\u00a0distance by lagging behind, it\u2019ll wait for us and hit us when we think we\u00a0outfoxed it. The resistance to it is what hurts. The mind wants certainty, but\u00a0you can\u2019t always get what you want. Life itself is a state of not being sure,\u00a0not knowing what comes next or how to get there. We just have to keep on\u00a0trying. We do our best not to cling to one outcome or another. That keeps us\u00a0endlessly stuck. When we let go and stop struggling, we can awaken to whom we\u00a0really are and we feel free.<\/p>\n
From my own experience, I\u2019ve found\u00a0that my attempts to achieve lasting pleasure and security are at odds with the\u00a0fact that I am part of a dynamic and ever-changing system in which everything\u00a0and everyone is in process. I try to let go and see each day as a gift that is\u00a0transitory. I try to soak up everything I see along my path. Whether it feels\u00a0good or bad, it\u2019ll change in the blink of an eye. I don\u2019t want to miss a single\u00a0blink.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The measure of\u00a0intelligence is the ability to change. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0– – – Albert Einstein I was sixteen when I was accepted\u00a0into a professional ballet company. I\u2019d started training when I was eight and I\u2019d\u00a0grown up in a ballet world, in the studio and on stage. That was all I knew. WhenI was nineteen, an unexpected […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2532,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2533"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2534,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2533\/revisions\/2534"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2532"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}