Don\u2019t just do something. Standthere.\u00a0<\/p>\n
– – – The White Rabbit<\/p>\n
We get so caught up in doing\u00a0things, sometimes we forget to pause and breathe. Some of us undervalue the\u00a0gift of slowing down and just being with ourselves. A friend of mine told methat she ended each day by asking herself if she had done enough. Should she
have done more? Was she productive? Did she spend too much time relaxing? Could\u00a0she make up for it tomorrow? By the time she was through, she was anxious, she\u00a0felt like she had failed and she couldn\u2019t sleep.<\/p>\n
I look at my life differently. Instead\u00a0of trying to do more, I ask myself, was I compassionate with myself and my\u00a0friends? Did I give enough? Did I judge? Did I listen well? Did I honk my horn\u00a0when someone didn\u2019t start driving the minute the light turned green? How about\u00a0the person who put me on hold when I needed to speak to someone at the DWP? WasI rude and impatient with him?\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
One of my all time\u00a0favorite authors, Kurt Vonnegut said, \u201cWe are human beings, not human doings.\u201d\u00a0It stayed with me. A human doing is someone who focuses on tasks, goals and\u00a0accomplishments. They feel that they must do things well to be of value. A human
being is someone who focuses on the journey and the experience, just as it is. This\u00a0is how they find value in life.<\/p>\n
When we do too much, we become\u00a0stressed. So many illnesses, both mental and physical, start with stress as we race\u00a0around, trying to check things off our \u201cto do\u201d lists. It\u2019s a good tool to write\u00a0things down that we\u2019d like to accomplish on any given day, but if you think you\u00a0can get to the end of a \u201cto do\u201d list, there is no end. One thing gets checked\u00a0off and another one takes its place in a never ending loop.<\/p>\n
For me, being productive feels good,\u00a0but not at the risk of driving myself crazy. When I write, I lose time and it\u00a0feels like I\u2019m in a fluid place. I\u2019m doing something. But if my mind begins to\u00a0blur, I stop. When I feel wiped out, I push away from the computer and rest my brain\u00a0and my body.<\/p>\n
During the eighties, I took a dozenctrips to the Philippines to research the world famous faith healers. I was drawn\u00a0to one particular healer named Alex and people stood in long lines to see him.\u00a0He worked nonstop for about four hours and then he stood up. He looked\u00a0exhausted and he left the room. Everyone waited. In about a half hour, he\u00a0returned looking refreshed and ready to go back to work.<\/p>\n
I asked Alex what he did during his\u00a0break.<\/p>\n
\u201cI eat, I pray and I relax. I look\u00a0at myself in the mirror and when I looked rested, I\u2019m ready to go back in there\u00a0and see more people.\u201d<\/p>\n
My students ask me how they can push\u00a0through their resistance and find a way to get to the computer and write. I\u00a0suggest they map out a time in their schedule, 8-9 AM for example, as if it\u00a0were a doctor\u2019s appointment and they have to show up. But there\u2019s a caveat. If\u00a0time has passed and you feel confused or spent, (not after five minutes), you\u00a0need to stop and unravel your brain. You need to stop doing and start being.\u00a0Breathe. Meditate. Get into the hot tub. Take a walk. When you get back to\u00a0work, you\u2019ll feel rejuvenated.<\/p>\n
Remembering to\u00a0pause and breathe is a healthy way to live. The late Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat\u00a0Hanh, talked about turning to meditation in every part of life. He was a\u00a0proponent of walking meditation and eating meditation. He suggested that when\u00a0you\u2019re in a car and you stop at a red light, instead of tapping your fingers on
the steering wheel, checking the time and cursing at the car in front of you, use\u00a0the pause as a reminder to breathe. I try doing it and it\u2019s a big help but I\u00a0forget sometimes. \u201cThis is the longest red light in the city,\u201d I hear myself\u00a0thinking. \u201cI hit every single red light. Now I\u2019m going to be late.\u201d And up goes\u00a0my blood pressure.<\/p>\n
When you wonder if you\u2019ve done\u00a0enough, think of monks meditating in caves for long periods of time. They don\u2019t\u00a0feel lazy or non-productive. They see it as a way to remove distractions and\u00a0learn about themselves but they\u2019re not only doing it for themselves. In the
Buddhist tradition, in everything you do, you send loving kindness to all\u00a0sentient beings. If you can affect one person with your compassion instead of\u00a0pushing yourself around when you\u2019re tired, you are doing your part in making\u00a0the world a better place. I think that\u2019s the best combination of doing and\u00a0being that there is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Don\u2019t just do something. Standthere.\u00a0 – – – The White Rabbit We get so caught up in doing\u00a0things, sometimes we forget to pause and breathe. Some of us undervalue the\u00a0gift of slowing down and just being with ourselves. A friend of mine told methat she ended each day by asking herself if she had done […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2539"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2539\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2540,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2539\/revisions\/2540"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}