We experienced a huge collectiv\u00a0disappointment this week. We all worked so hard. We donated, knocked on doors,\u00a0texted, made phone calls, wrote postcards, talked to each other and tried to
stay hopeful. We used our discipline to stay positive. We believed we were on\u00a0the winning side, but we didn\u2019t get what we wanted. Sometimes life is like\u00a0that.<\/p>\n
Some of us are scared. Some of us\u00a0are angry. Some of us are depressed and we want to give up. Some of us are\u00a0confounded. Some of us feel like losers. Some of us are all of the above. I teeter
on the edge of all of these feelings so I\u2019ve been turning to the wisdom of our\u00a0spiritual leaders who have gone through a great deal of difficulty and emerged\u00a0with humility and compassion.<\/p>\n
Concentration camp survivor, Viktor\u00a0Frankl, said, \u201cDisappointment and problems are part of life and we need to find\u00a0meaning in them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Pema Chodron said, \u201cWhen there\u2019s a\u00a0big disappointment, we don\u2019t know if that\u2019s the end of the story. It may be\u00a0just the beginning of a great adventure.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo appointments, no\u00a0disappointments,\u201d said, Stephen Levine, referring to managing our expectations.<\/p>\n
I know that all of the above are\u00a0just words right now. They don\u2019t mean much in the throes of what we\u2019re feeling.\u00a0It doesn\u2019t work to try to force your heart open when it\u2019s twisted into a tight\u00a0knot. We just have to wait. We need to breathe and be kind to ourselves and each
other. To cradle our hearts. To feel our feelings fully. To remember that we\u2019re\u00a0not alone, that we are all in this together and we have to remind each other to\u00a0find hope, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes we need someone else who can\u00a0\u201ctalk us off the ledge.\u201d Someone who won\u2019t tell us how to feel or what to do.\u00a0Someone with compassion who will listen. Someone who will encourage us to
become vulnerable. Someone who will allow us to be disappointed but show us an\u00a0alternative way to be with what has happened.<\/p>\n
In the wake of this election, for\u00a0some of us, nothing in our present day to day life will change. For others,\u00a0that isn\u2019t true. But for all of us, if we catastrophize the situation, project\u00a0misery and anger and live in fear, we become beaten down and lost. Losing feels\u00a0awful but I don\u2019t want to live a fear-based life. I don\u2019t want disappointment\u00a0to destroy my self-confidence. I want to find the courage to stay engaged and face\u00a0my difficulties with a commitment to stay strong, no matter what life hands me.\u00a0I want to find the courage to see possibility where there seems to be none. To\u00a0try to listen to people who are suffering in ways that I\u2019m not. I want to find\u00a0the courage to accept what has happened, to surrender the thought that I\u2019m in trouble\u00a0and turn to my friends to pull me out of the downward spiral of pain and sorrow.<\/p>\n
We have just been through what I\u00a0call a spiritual trial. This is a time when we all have to turn to each other. It\u00a0doesn\u2019t help to isolate. I\u2019ve been making phone calls to my close friends who have\u00a0the same values that I do. Some of them have called me. It takes strength and
awareness to face each day and not lose hope, but not getting what we want doesn\u2019t\u00a0mean we failed the test. Spiritual trials aren\u2019t measured in successes or\u00a0failures. They are ongoing challenges that ask us to stay conscious and humble,\u00a0to be present, to listen, and to stay aware of what we are feeling, not what we\u00a0think we should be feeling. And to be willing to engage with and listen to those\u00a0whose opinions differ from ours. It\u2019s understandable why they believe lies. Life\u00a0is so hard for many of them, they are grabbing onto what they hope might make\u00a0their lives bearable.<\/p>\n
There are so many emotions to be\u00a0sorted out right now and I feel exhausted. We all do. These last months have\u00a0been punishing. But I\u2019m finding that bit by bit, if I let myself feel what\u2019s\u00a0going on inside of me, if I let go of desperation and blaming, I\u2019m slowly moving\u00a0back into my life, a little sadder and a lot wiser. I had no idea that so many Americans\u00a0were suffering. For me, it\u2019s time to face the truth and make sense of what feels\u00a0like nonsense.<\/p>\n
Although it seems counterintuitive,\u00a0the deeper we go and the more we feel, the more we can let go of disappointment\u00a0and rise. Scientist Mesaru Emoto, student of human consciousness said, \u201cIf you\u00a0feel lost, disappointed, hesitant or weak, return to yourself, to who you are,\u00a0here and now, and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus\u00a0flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.\u201d<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s \u00a0slog through the mud together,\u00a0open our hearts and find the beauty and vitality on the other side. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We experienced a huge collectiv\u00a0disappointment this week. We all worked so hard. We donated, knocked on doors,\u00a0texted, made phone calls, wrote postcards, talked to each other and tried tostay hopeful. We used our discipline to stay positive. We believed we were on\u00a0the winning side, but we didn\u2019t get what we wanted. Sometimes life is like\u00a0that. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2567,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2568","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2568"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2568\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2569,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2568\/revisions\/2569"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2567"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}