When I was traveling through the\u00a0Philippines in the 1980\u2019s to research the renowned psychic healers, one of them,
Angelo, invited my friend and me to his home for dinner. We accepted the\u00a0invitation. A cousin was on the street waiting for us when our taxi pulled up in\u00a0front of a ramshackle building. He greeted us with a huge smile and he led us\u00a0up a creaky staircase that opened out into one room. The space served as a\u00a0living room, a kitchen and a bedroom for seven. The bathroom was in the house,
that was considered a luxury, and there was no toilet seat.<\/p>\n
We sat on two wooden chairs and Angelo\u2019s\u00a0wife, Maria, brought us a tray with two large bottles of Coca Cola on it. She\u00a0poured the cold liquid into two glasses and stood there smiling while we drank.
We motioned for the family to join us but Maria shook her head. While she and\u00a0her three daughters cooked, we chatted with our Angelo. When dinner was ready, Angelo\u00a0asked us to stand up and he carried our chairs to the table. We sat again and\u00a0Maria brought over a platter of white rice and mystery meat. When she was
through serving us, the family stood back. Pretty soon, I realized what was\u00a0happening. There wasn\u2019t enough food for us and for them. They would eat the\u00a0leftovers. I thought about leaving half of my plate untouched so they had\u00a0something to eat, but when I looked over at their faces, I could see that would\u00a0be insulting. They had next to nothing and they wanted to give us something. Food.\u00a0They wanted us to eat. For them, it was more important for us to receive their\u00a0gift than for them to have dinner.<\/p>\n
It was difficult to eat in front of\u00a0them but we emptied our plates. We had no idea what we were eating but we\u00a0complimented them on the food. They couldn\u2019t have looked more thrilled, and we\u00a0spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing. They were joyful, more so\u00a0than my friends and I are much of the time. When I got back to my hotel and climbed\u00a0into bed, I kept hearing their laughter and seeing their smiles. Sometimes I\u00a0forget how privileged I am. I forget to marvel at the beauty and comforts in my\u00a0life. I hold that night in my heart as a constant reminder about what really\u00a0matters.<\/p>\n
Little irritating things can throw\u00a0me off course and I become resentful. I spent most of yesterday morning on the
phone, not talking to anyone. I was on hold with an insurance company, trying\u00a0to cancel a claim that I didn\u2019t file. They transferred me to three different\u00a0people and none of them had any answers. I tried to be pleasant, I thought I\u00a0might get better service but that didn\u2019t seem to matter. The last time they put\u00a0me on hold, forty-five minutes went by. I don\u2019t want to even think about the so-called
music that was droning on and on. Finally, I hung up. I was in a bad mood as I\u00a0grabbed my purse and my car keys. I had a dental appointment in Santa Monica\u00a0which I wasn\u2019t too thrilled about.<\/p>\n
The freeway between Studio City and\u00a0Santa Monica is notoriously a never-ending traffic jam. Rush hour is every\u00a0hour. I inched along. When I got to the off ramp, I hoped the streets would be\u00a0better but they weren\u2019t. I slowly made a right turn onto Lincoln Boulevard. Horns\u00a0were honking, my breathing became shallow, I was silently swearing and feeling\u00a0sorry for myself that I had to go to the dentist when I saw a man on the\u00a0sidewalk beside me. He was hunched over, his clothing was tattered and he\u00a0wasn\u2019t wearing any shoes.<\/p>\n
I was paralyzed for a moment. No\u00a0shoes. I looked down at my feet. I was wearing shoes. I had a car, a telephone,health insurance, a dentist, a full refrigerator, a bed and a car. I had\u00a0friends and money and a roof over my head. And I had shoes. Something about that
really got me.<\/p>\n
I thought about my closet. Shoes\u00a0galore. Choices. Summer sandals, winter boots, dressy pumps, daytime flats, tennis\u00a0shoes and bedroom slippers. I never considered what life would be like without
shoes until that moment. I forgot about the traffic. I was safe in my car. I\u00a0forgot about being late. I\u2019d get there when I got there. I wasn\u2019t hungry, I\u00a0wasn\u2019t cold, I wasn\u2019t afraid and I\u2018d taken a shower before I got into the car.<\/p>\n
Before I knew it, I was driving\u00a0into my dentist\u2019s parking garage. I took a ticket at the entrance and I knew I\u00a0could pay the fee when I left. I got into the elevator and I was glad I had a\u00a0dentist. The late Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, said that when he was stuck
in traffic or if he had to stop at a red light, he saw those things as
opportunities to breathe, to remember where he was and what he was doing. I\u00a0tried it. I can\u2019t say I was successful but it was a lot better than swearing\u00a0and muttering under my breath.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
I watched a documentary about actor\u00a0Seth Rogan\u2019s therapist, Phil Stutz. A renowned healer, this amazing man has\u00a0Parkinson\u2019s Disease. He has trouble walking and he talked about being grateful
for an elevator in his office building. Such a small thing. I can\u2019t remember\u00a0ever being thankful for an elevator. I forget to remember. I forget about how\u00a0fortunate I am to have what I have. And to notice what\u2019s in front of me. I may have\u00a0passed something in my house a dozen times but it didn\u2019t register any more,\u00a0like a piece of furniture that I was so excited about when I bought it. Now I\u00a0didn\u2019t see it any more. A painting on the wall. A piece of jewelry that I wore\u00a0only once. Jasmine plants in my front garden.<\/p>\n
When we\u2019re mindful of where we are\u00a0and what we\u2019re doing, we don\u2019t have to try to remember to be appreciative. We\u00a0don\u2019t have to remind ourselves to be grateful. In my opinion, the idea of gratitude\u00a0gets thrown around too much. Journals. Affirmations. To do lists. I\u2019ve found\u00a0that if I focus on where I am, what I have and whom I love, gratefulness simply
shows up in the space and I can use it to wake up\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When I was traveling through the\u00a0Philippines in the 1980\u2019s to research the renowned psychic healers, one of them,Angelo, invited my friend and me to his home for dinner. We accepted the\u00a0invitation. A cousin was on the street waiting for us when our taxi pulled up in\u00a0front of a ramshackle building. He greeted us with a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2585"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2585\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2586,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2585\/revisions\/2586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}