As the days pass, it becomes more\u00a0difficult to explain we have and are still going through but since my wifi just\u00a0went on after four days, I\u2019ll talk about how it was on the second day of the\u00a0disaster. That was when I wrote this.<\/p>\n
The wind was raging endlessly. It\u00a0went on all day Tuesday and I woke up to it on Wednesday morning. One of my living\u00a0room windows was loose and it sounded like someone was throwing large rocks at\u00a0my house. Shingles from my roof were flying through the air and landing on the\u00a0cement. Two neighbors were braving the winds and picking up debris from the\u00a0road. My landline was non-operative. And in the midst of it all, I felt so\u00a0lucky, I could hardly believe it.<\/p>\n
I had electricity, I had heat and\u00a0my refrigerator was cold. The Pacific Palisades was completely evacuated, it\u00a0looked like a war zone, but I got to stay where I was, in my house, in my bed.\u00a0People were injured and some of them died. But I was safe. A dear friend lost\u00a0her restaurant. Her bread and butter. Today, it is completely destroyed. But my\u00a0computer was working and although my wifi is down, I can still write this blog.<\/p>\n
The feelings of helplessness in the\u00a0midst of a catastrophe are overwhelming. When homes and businesses are burning\u00a0up, all we can do is watch. A friend called me on Tuesday and said she felt
guilty because she wasn\u2019t doing anything. What could she do? There was no way\u00a0for her to get to the targeted areas safely. Even if she could, the smoke would\u00a0be damaging to her lungs. Cars leading up to the affected sites had been\u00a0abandoned and they had to use a bulldozer to get them off the road so the emergency\u00a0vehicles could get through. My friend had no choice but to stay where she was and
stay connected to what was happening.<\/p>\n
In times of crisis, it\u2019s\u00a0interesting to see how we react. For me, part of it depends on preparedness. A\u00a0friend sent me a text asking me if I had a \u201cgo\u201d bag ready. I didn\u2019t. And when\u00a0she told me what to put in it, I didn\u2019t want to do it. Too much trouble, I told\u00a0myself. I\u2019m safe. Not a problem. But I forced myself to do it anyway. It\u2019s\u00a0stunning that I felt like I couldn\u2019t be bothered, that I told myself, \u201cI\u2019m\u00a0fine. I don\u2019t need to go out of my way to save myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
Part of my reluctance was that\u00a0making a \u201cgo\u201d bag forced me to acknowledge the reality of what was going on. How\u00a0close to danger I was. It just didn\u2019t feel real. On TV, it seemed like some\u00a0other world, a dystopian war zone that had nothing to do with me. The Pacific
Palisades looked like a movie set, but it wasn\u2019t. I had to stop saying, \u201cThat\u00a0can\u2019t happen to me.\u201d It\u2019s pretty hard to stop a fire in the great winds that\u00a0feel like they\u2019re going to blow your house down but I felt better once I was\u00a0prepared, even though the situation remained the same. In fact it appeared that\u00a0I was about to be evacuated but it didn\u2019t happen. I was lucky. Once again.<\/p>\n
Although there are many ways to\u00a0react to a crisis, one way is to become more open and compassionate than\u00a0before. Being present and seeing how you can help. It may be a simple phone\u00a0call to let someone know you\u2019re there and you care. Another way is to shut down,\u00a0to become rigid and refuse to talk to anyone. To pretend it isn\u2019t happening. To\u00a0become hysterical. To hide away and be absent from the truth of the situation. Sometimes\u00a0we do some of each.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It’s natural to try to connect with\u00a0people when we\u2019re in crisis but it isn\u2019t always easy. The fear tries to worm\u00a0its way in and we become guarded and shut down. We think that\u2019s the way to keep\u00a0ourselves safe. Putting up a barrier of fear between a situation and ourselves
creates anxiety and burnout. On the other hand, opening our hearts and connecting\u00a0with what is happening, letting go of barriers and seeing that we are all in\u00a0the same boat, can nourish us. We\u2019re all walking the same path. We\u2019re just on\u00a0different rungs of the ladder. The work is to drop into or center and find a\u00a0balance.<\/p>\n
Crisis rides on a wave of\u00a0uncertainty. We don\u2019t know where we\u2019ll end up or when it will be over. We don\u2019t\u00a0know how the other side will look. We don\u2019t know what will go back to normal\u00a0and what will become the new normal. It\u2019s hard to be this state ungrounded but
we will find ourselves there at some time or other.. It\u2019s part of being human. We\u00a0can choose to isolate in our fear and not let anyone in or we can allow other\u00a0people to reach into our hearts while we reach into theirs.<\/p>\n
In the 1980s, I volunteered at an\u00a0AIDS hospice. Fifteen beds. Fifteen dying men. I remember telling myself that\u00a0if I chose to be there, I needed to really be there, to leave my fear and\u00a0concerns at the door and connect with the person in the bed. I had to remember\u00a0that I was there to serve and to listen to people talk about their lives and
their fears. But it turned out that I was also there to learn about myself and\u00a0my fears. It was all about turning crisis into a learning experience. Just\u00a0because I was in the chair and someone else was in the bed, we could easily\u00a0trade places. Each time I walked into someone\u2019s room, nobody knew how much time\u00a0they had left. I had a wonderful conversation with a Belgian man who was an\u00a0artist. He told me that his favorite thing was to eat peanuts. I laughed and so
did he. I came back to the hospice two days later with a bag of peanuts, but his\u00a0bed was empty. I went into the common room, I left the peanuts there and I\u00a0hoped that my friend was feasting on peanuts in heaven.<\/p>\n
During hard times, it\u2019s important\u00a0to remember that we are all connected. Whatever stage of crisis someone is in, the\u00a0best thing to do is be there and give them love and acceptance. And listen. It\u2019s
okay to be afraid. We\u2019re all afraid. But being there for someone in their\u00a0darkest time can lift them up and it lifts us up too. IF we find acceptance for\u00a0our strength of spirit and our bittersweet vulnerability, we can find a way to\u00a0relax into the uncertainty of life.<\/p>\n
People have lost their homes and\u00a0all of their possessions. I can\u2019t begin to fathom how that feels but I send love to\u00a0everyone everyone who is going through this. Maybe we all be safe and free from
suffering.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As the days pass, it becomes more\u00a0difficult to explain we have and are still going through but since my wifi just\u00a0went on after four days, I\u2019ll talk about how it was on the second day of the\u00a0disaster. That was when I wrote this. The wind was raging endlessly. It\u00a0went on all day Tuesday and I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2598,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2599","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2599"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2600,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2599\/revisions\/2600"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}