I was in the Philippines in the 1980s when a group of\u00a0Philippine friends took me to a magical place called Mt. Banahaw. One of them
owned a small cabin at the foot of the mountain and we had a bite to eat and\u00a0got ready for an evening climb. When the sun was setting, we started our trek,\u00a0using flashlights to illuminate our way. The mountain curved and twisted and\u00a0finding my footing took great concentration. There were holes in the ground\u00a0that I had to avoid and I was starting to panic. I imagined falling into a hole\u00a0but I knew that fear would turn the climb into a dangerous and deeply \u00a0 unpleasant\u00a0experience. I talked myself through it by becoming aware of each of my steps that\u00a0were taking me closer to the crest of the mountain.<\/p>\n
Along the way, we came upon areas that were guarded by large
stone monuments. Our guide instructed us to stop at each one and offer prayers\u00a0to the spirits who dwelt there in order to gain entrance and be safe in these\u00a0sacred spaces. I could feel the energy in the air shifting as I acknowledged\u00a0the light and allowed it to fill me up. When we reached the top of the\u00a0mountain, the darkness was extinguished by the stars and our conversation\u00a0stopped. We breathed and listened and I had never felt more at home. At one
point, I saw a strange object hovering over the mountain. It darted to the left\u00a0and disappeared. I looked at our guide and he nodded his head. All of the fear\u00a0and confusion and darkness in my world dissolved into light and sometimes, whe\u00a0I need to stop fretting, remembering that feeling calms me down and reminds me\u00a0that I\u2019m home.<\/p>\n
Author Marion Zimmer Bradley wrote an enchanting book, an
historical fantasy novel called \u201cThe Mists of Avalon.\u201d It took place in the time of King Arthur and Merlin, the sorcerer, where a wall of mist covered the\u00a0entrance to Avalon, a Utopian paradise. It took dedicated prayer and devotion\u00a0to lift the mists and enter the Edenic world of truth and love. If it went\u00a0unattended for a long period of time, the mists would become solid and thevparadise would be lost forever.<\/p>\n
This reminds me of the foremost question in my mind: How\u00a0should I be, while it seems like the world is falling apart? How should I talk
about it? How can I turn away from the darkness and choose a different path? Ivwas a news junkie for years before things went awry. Back then, \u00a0although politics weren\u2019t exactly pleasant, they weren\u2019t completely hideous like they are now. Today, I feel physically ill when I see particular faces on the news. It\u2019s like a dip down into a nasty hole and I need to steer clear of it. It sometimes feels irresponsible to detach from what is going on but it also feels like removing myself is a mental health choice.<\/p>\n
I was recently walking in the sunshine in a grassy area that\u00a0smelled like newly mowed lawn. I was with three friends, we were in a
semi-meditative state, being quiet and feeling our breath, \u00a0until one of women started talking about politics. I could feel her terror as her voice rose in decibels. She wasn\u2019t suggesting a way to be with all of this but rather how terrible everything was. How doomed we were. Fear and loathing were at the foundation of what she was saying and I felt the light and the ease seeping out of the top of my head. I wanted to be kind to my friend and at the same time, make it clear that this wasn\u2019t a good thing to be contemplating during a meditative walk.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d really like to change the subject,\u201d I told her gently.<\/p>\n
She looked irritated. \u201cSo what do you want to talk about?\u201d
she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cNothing really. Maybe we can just be quiet and let the birds
and the squirrels do the talking.\u201d<\/p>\n
It takes inner strength and patience to be in the world where\u00a0we live and find the light. I like to remember that it\u2019s always there. It may
be obstructed by negative thoughts and fear but it isn\u2019t going anywhere. When\u00a0we peel back the layers of negativity, it\u2019s right there where it always was.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve made a commitment to radiate the good stuff. I want tovease my own suffering and the suffering of others by keeping the lights turned
on. No matter what is going on in the world, I choose the light. I\u2019m stubborn\u00a0and I refuse to fill my heart with bitterness. That\u2019s what some of our leaders\u00a0want and I don\u2019t want to let them win. That doesn\u2019t mean I have to like what I see.\u00a0For me, it means being mindful when I catch myself sending out hate. When thevnegative feelings are overwhelming, I make a compromise. I let myself feel the anger but I stop myself from imagining violence. I let myself feel the\u00a0disappointment but I stop myself from plotting revenge. Sometimes it works and\u00a0sometimes it doesn\u2019t, but at least I\u2019m building an awareness of what I\u2019m\u00a0sending out into the world and I do my best to change my focus\u00a0<\/p>\n
I like to visualize a flight of stairs that leads to the top\u00a0of the world. Some of the stairs are smooth and I feel calm when I step on them.
Some are rough and I stumble over them. Some are worlds apart from each other and\u00a0require a long stretch of my legs and deep breathing to get from one to the next.\u00a0And some of them are lined up side by side and require very little energy to\u00a0keep walking. But rough or smooth, I try to keep my focus in front of me, avoid\u00a0the holes and continue to climb.<\/p>\n
\u201cDarkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.<\/p>\n
\u201cHate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
– – – Martin\u00a0Luther King<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was in the Philippines in the 1980s when a group of\u00a0Philippine friends took me to a magical place called Mt. Banahaw. One of themowned a small cabin at the foot of the mountain and we had a bite to eat and\u00a0got ready for an evening climb. When the sun was setting, we started our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2664,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2662"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2662\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2663,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2662\/revisions\/2663"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2664"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.andreacagan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}