A woman I used to know, Cynthia, was in the business of helping celebrities prepare to be on camera for unscripted interviews. They were accustomed to performing in front of thousands of people, they had reached excellence in their craft, but unscripted appearances and interviews on talk shows were really hard for some of them. My friend would set up a mock camera, sit down with them, and she would ask probing questions about their careers and their private lives so they could learn to manage
uncomfortable conversations. She advised them how to dress, how to sit, and how to appear relaxed when they were stressed out. How to smile when they were afraid. What to do with their hands, what to do with their legs and how to laugh at themselves.
Cynthia was in London in the early summer of 1997, when she got a call from Princess Diana’s assistant. He told her that the princess needed some help with her public appearances and he wondered if Cynthia could meet with her that afternoon. She was breathless, it was an
extraordinary opportunity, but she was also intimidated. What would she say to her? What if she did a bad job and Diana was disappointed? She decided she needed some time to prepare. “I can’t do it today,” she said, “I’m flying home to Los Angeles. But I’ll be back in London next month and we can set something up.”
Diana was killed in a car crash two weeks later and Cynthia deeply regrets her decision. She knew how to prepare her clients for scary, uncomfortable situations but she couldn’t rise to the occasion
herself. She had learned the hard way what happened when you let fear run the show.
I faced the same kind of fear when I got a call from my agent many years ago. He had signed a legendary diva for a memoir and she needed a ghostwriter. She booked a meeting with me to see if we were a good fit and during the fifty minute drive to her home, I decided four times that I should just back out. What if I embarrassed myself? What if I couldn’t get over her fame and talent? I repeated to myself, “Just show up. Just show up.” And that was what I did.
When I knocked on her front door, she answered it herself and when we smiled at each other, I saw a human being looking across at me. Not a diva. Not a super star. Not an Oscar winner. Not a Grammy winner. A human being, just like me. I let go of my preconceived notions and fears and the meeting went smoothly. When I got home, my agent called to tell me that it was a “go.” I was ecstatic.
“When do we start?” I asked him.
“Tomorrow,” he said. “She fired her last writer, he wasted a month of her time and now we have a very tight deadline.”
The next morning, two large Fed Ex boxes arrived at my door. They were filled with write-ups, articles and reviews that I had to put in some kind of order. I laid everything out on the floor, took a look and
walked downstairs to my bedroom. I climbed into bed. In a flash, my ecstasy had morphed into hardcore reality. The celebration was over. Now I had to write the damned book with the shortest deadline you could imagine.
“Wow, I get to write this woman a memoir,” became, “Oh no, I have to write this woman a memoir.”
My fear started to choke me. “Just show up. Just show up,” I repeated over and over. In the end, it turned out to be a great experience. I conducted in-person interviews in three of her homes. I got to really know this legend of stage and screen. I got to know her personal chef, her chauffeur, her husband and her family.
The book made the NY Times bestseller list and publishers hired me for other ghostwriting jobs. I went on to create a successful career for myself with numerous bestsellers, something that never would have happened if I hadn’t overcome my fear and just shown up.
Showing up despite your insecurities or your fear of mediocrity takes a lot of courage. The ladder to excellence is tall, you have to climb up rung by rung, and whether or not you make it to the top, the reward is putting your fears in the background and enjoying the ride.
I’ve learned many of my life lessons, not by professional training but rather by doing what was in front of me, no matter how scared I was. Painter, Georgia O Keefe, said, “I’ve been absolutely
terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”
One of my favorite quotes is by Stephen King:
“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work.”
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