Heroes are people who rise to the occasion and slip quietly away.”
– – – Tom Brokaw
I remember a movie from 1992 called “Hero” where Dustin Hoffman played a bitter petty thief
who begrudgingly rescued people from a devastating plane crash. He just happened to come upon the crash site and he was annoyed that people needed him. He rescued as many people as he could, muttering to himself the whole time, and then he disappeared.
Everyone loves a hero. Especially a humble one. But these days, it isn’t enough to be a hero. We
aspire to be a Superhero whose powers go beyond human capabilities. We want to fly, become invisible and scale up the sides of buildings on sticky feet like Batman, Spiderman, Superman, Antman and Captain Marvel.
What about being a heroic human being, someone who cares for someone else who is sick and dying? What about people who risk their lives to put out fires. Someone who fights to save
our country. Someone who defies their inner critic and finishes a work of art: a book, a painting. Someone who stands up to a bully and soothes someone who is in grief or fear. Someone who practices every day to achieve excellence like sports champions, figure skaters, ballet dancers and gymnasts who fly, twist, and put up with pain without complaint.
Before Covid, I used to work out in a gym for elite female athletes. I wasn’t doing gymnastics. My talented trainer, Orlando, just happened to rent out space and conduct his sessions there and I did what I call a regular person’s workout. I have to say that I was slightly intimidated by the little girls when I first showed up but I loved watching them. While I was doing crunches, stretching and lifting light weights, they were walking on their hands, spinning on the uneven bars, tumbling, pushing off the vault, flipping in the air, conquering the balance beam, trying to dismount without injuring themselves and practicing a host of strengthening and agility exercises. During my sessions, any time I felt tired
or bored, all I had to do was look up and see someone flying through the air.
It was miraculous that they could perform the challenging things they did on a daily basis. I
watched them soar and I watched them fall hard. I watched them train with a cast on one leg. I watched them fall off the beam, bruise their thighs, cry out in pain and frustration and get back on the beam. To me, they were heroes, believing in themselves, working daily to achieve what most of can’t imagine achieving.
It reminded me of my ballet training. I pretty much grew up in a dance studio, practicing all day long, spinning, balancing and jumping on the tips of my toes. I performed on a sprained ankle. I performed when I had the flu. I performed when I was exhausted from many weeks of one-night stands, touring across the United States in a bus, crying because I was lonely and hungry. I starved and bled, leapt and pirouetted, stained and sprained, all with a beatific smile on my face. And in the end, I felt proud of myself. I had done what I had set out to do and when I went to sleep at night, I felt gratified.
More challenging than physical feats, however, are emotional and physical ones. It’s easy to pretend to have super powers, but it’s hard to see your human self in glowing terms. It’s heroic to find compassion for yourself when you think you’ve done something wrong. It’s heroic to stay present when you’re feeling so much pain and sorrow, you can hardly stand it. Facing your fear requires you to look deep inside and find the courage and vulnerability to see that while you’re not a super hero, you still have extraordinary abilities. Maybe you’re compassionate with other people no matter how they treat you. Maybe you listen so well, it heals someone. Maybe you feed hungry people or you have the ability to make people laugh in the toughest of circumstance like my friend, Rhoni, who excels in both.
For me, it’s heroic to accept myself and other people just the way they are. To accept how I look. To sit in traffic without swearing. To stop telling anyone else what to do. To tell the truth when a lie would be so much easier. To do something that scares me and embarrasses me. Finding an address without getting lost. Telling the truth about how I feel when I want someone to like me. Telling the truth when it fills me with shame. Asking for something when I’m afraid of being rejected.
You can be a hero on a small level or a grand one, but however it looks and however you define
it, it takes courage and determination to live up to what it implies. Smart, strong, selfless, hopeful, resilient, reliable, caring and inspiring. Falling and getting up. These words all pertain to the real heroes who walk among us. We can spot them because they give us hope, inspiration and the determination to face our fears without running away.
“Being a hero isn’t about grand, cinematic moments; it is about quiet sacrifice, relentless
perseverance, and choosing to help others.”
– – – Anonymous
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