Erasing Your Face
The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.
– – – Frank Lloyd Wright
Over the last nine months, I wrote a memoir for Betsy, a wonderful 74-year-old woman who goes on month long charity horse treks in Mongolia. When she called to ask me to write her memoir, I told her that I didn’t write other people’s books any more, but by the time we finished our conversation, I had
agreed to work with her. I was attracted to the fact that she was doing treks to raise money for poverty-stricken children. She was kind and delightful. She offered to pay me well. These were all plusses but there was a reason that eclipsed them. She was encouraging other women to “find their brave” at any age. To never give up trying to make their dreams come true.
These are the doctrines that Betsy lives by:
I can do so much more than I think I can.
Age doesn’t matter. I’m just getting started.
She was preparing to ride 100 miles in one day in the Mongolian wilderness when she read about a woman named Diana Nyad. She was a 64-year-old swimmer who had been attempting a 110-mile
open water swim from Havana, Cuba, to Key West Florida since she was 28. She had tried many times over the years and failed. Finally, when she was 64, she completed the swim that took her 53 non-stop hours. Some of her doctrines were similar to Betsy’s:
Never give up.
You’re never too old to chase
your dreams.
Betsy and I spent a lot of time laughing. Aging well requires commitment, inner strength and the ability to laugh at yourself. It requires the ability to release the things that don’t serve you and embrace the
things that do.
Ancient poet/Sufi Mystic said, “Wisdom comes from surrender, not from accumulating achievements.”
I was in my sixties when someone introduced me to a brilliant trainer, Orlando, who told me about one of his martial arts teachers who was eighty and he kept getting stronger. All I’d ever heard was when you reached your sixties and seventies, you were pretty much over the hill and you would keep getting weaker. I rejected that. I wanted to feel strong and vital. I’m not suggesting that you pay no attention to your age and risk getting hurt. I’m talking about never underestimating what you’re capable of. Granted, there are illnesses we contract that we can’t avoid, there are injuries that we have to
nurse, but if you’re fortunate enough to be able to get up in the morning, it’s
something to celebrate, however young or old you are.
These days, I have a remarkable online trainer, Kerry, who
works with clients of all ages. She’s a champ at evaluating what her clients
can do safely and what they need to be careful of. She reminds me to listen to
the messages my body is sending me. She helps me strengthen my core and that
keeps my body in alignment. She keeps me laughing. I get intermittent aches and
pains these days, but when I pay attention, I enjoy my life, I rarely get hurt
and I heal pretty fast.
It’s ironic that we want to live a long life but we don’t want to get old. Getting older has some definite drawbacks but it also has some great rewards. Wisdom. Compassion. Knowledge gained by experience. Increased awareness of what you’re feeling at any given time and how to be kind to yourself.
Today, I feel proud of who I am. I don’t get offended when someone says, “You look good for your age.” I like hearing that. I have no control over being young or being old so why should I feel shame about getting older? I’ve learned that if I keep my body moving, check my negative, fear-ridden
thoughts about aging and stay in the moment, I get stronger and healthier, in body and in mind.
I live in a society where erasing your face of all wrinkles and age lines is common practice. People are trying to stop time. But no matter what we do on the outside, the inside keeps on moving forward and getting older. I once saw a photograph of a Native American elder who had so many lines on her face, it looked like a roadmap of her life. I was overwhelmed by her beauty. I wished I could know her and sit with her and maybe some of that wisdom might rub off.
The Dalai Lama says that while physical decline cannot be stopped, a well-trained, peaceful mind remains strong, allowing us to use our long experience to find deep inner calm.
Isn’t that what we all want?
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